Because She's Different
by 61wisampa
Summary: In ways, she had always been unique. And it was because of that that he needed her the way she needed him.


**#include disclaimer.h  
**

**void main(){  
**

**puts("I do not own Detective Conan or any of its characters.");  
**

**return 0;  
**

**}  
**

* * *

**Because She's Different**

"Nee, Conan-kun," Ayumi, who was walking beside me, called, "Why do you still call Ai-chan Haibara?"

"Eh?" I replied, my brows going up in confusion at the same time when I heard Haibara scolding Genta and Mitsuhiko further down the aisle.

We were heading home from school and were about to split at our usual separating place when Haibara offhandedly announced that she had to go shopping. It proved to be a huge mistake on her part because the kids suddenly decided to come after learning the fact. Of course, Haibara wouldn't let me leave because of it, telling me that I had to help her take care of these kids.

That was the reason to why we ended up in the grocery store with Mitsuhiko and Genta trying to help Haibara with the shopping (but instead only succeeded in irritating her) while Ayumi and I walked a few steps behind them.

"Why don't you call Ai-chan by her name?" Ayumi repeated, her brows furrowing lightly, "You two are really close, right? Maybe even closer than me and Ai-chan so why do you still call her by her last name?"

"Ah… well…" I tried to think as my eyes slowly darted around the place until it finally settled on Haibara who was holding a carton of milk and at the same time lecturing Mitsuhiko and Genta about a milk's nutritional facts and different food additives that one should avoid if they 'don't want to die of cancer' as she said.

_'Why was that?'_ I asked myself as I thought about Ayumi's question. Haibara and I hadn't known each other for more than a year, more or less nine or ten months only. But I couldn't deny the fact that we did have this connection that made us somewhat like close friends. I knew it was because of the state we both were in so it should've made us at least close enough for us to address each other with our first names.

I grinned as I watched Haibara finish her lecture about health, "It's a way to show how we respect each other," I answered Ayumi, turning towards her, "That's why she calls me Edogawa-kun too."

My answer didn't seem to satisfy Ayumi for her brows furrowed more, "But you also respect Ran-nee-chan, Hakase and other people but you don't call them by their last names."

"Well…" I struggled to find the right way to explain, "It's a bit different… I guess."

"How is it different?"

"Hey, you two," Haibara suddenly called, halting our conversation, "Could you at least help me appease these boys? I need to be quick but they keep on getting in the way of my grocery shopping." She told us with an annoyed frown directed at Mitsuhiko and Genta. "Kojima-kun! I told you not to put snacks that you want for yourself! If you want those, take your own basket and pay for them yourself!" she scolded Genta once again when she caught him putting Kamen Yaiba chocolates on the basket she had left. She walked back to claim her basket and remove the items that Genta had added, clearly irritated.

Exchanging amused smiles with Ayumi, we walked towards the three and backed the annoyed girl up.

I stared at Haibara as we walked down the path towards Hakase's with me carrying a bag of groceries while she held the other.

I had never given a thought about my relationship with Haibara but when Ayumi mentioned it, I couldn't get rid of the thought, even more so when she compared my relationship with Haibara with mine and Ran's in particular.

Now that I thought of it, Ran and Shinichi… Hiabara and Conan… was it just me or the two were pretty similar?

"Is there something on my face, Kudo-kun?" Haibara suddenly asked, as she continued to walk, in that nonchalant voice of hers which snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Ah! Nothing, it's nothing!" I smiled at her nervously, hoping she would just let the topic drop.

"Is there something in your mind?" she finally stopped, facing me as if to tell me that she would listen.

I froze, a thought coming to my mind as I continued to stare at her.

For a moment, I remembered a time when I—Shinichi—was with Ran.

_ Ran and I were walking home. It was a week before we had gone to Tropical Land, and I was discussing with myself whether I should ask her out or wait until she suggested it herself. This caused me to be silent the whole time._

_ Ran, having known me for years, knew this was a rare occurrence and had questioned me, "Shinichi, are you alright?"_

_ I had looked at her and answered with a grin, "Sure, why wouldn't I be?"_

_ She replied with a concerned frown on her face, "Well, you're being too quiet today. Is there something in your mind?"_

_ I shook my head, "Nah, it's nothing. Just thinking of this new mystery novel coming up." I quickly formed a lie that wouldn't be so suspicious._

_ She then responded with a slightly irritated look, "Geez, that's all you think about, Shinichi. Don't you do anything else except read and solve mysteries?"_

"Nah, it's nothing," I told Haibara with a reassuring grin, "Just thinking of this new mystery novel coming up."

Unlike Ran who immediately believed my excuse—and feigned (or maybe not) irritation of my addiction to mysteries—Haibara instead continued to look at me with scrutinizing eyes, making me slightly uncomfortable with my grin.

After a long moment, she turned around, saying "Whatever it is you're thinking, Kudo-kun, it's up to you to whom you tell it to. But I've heard that speaking your thoughts is healthy for you once in a while."

Translation: _You don't have to tell me but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here._

Once again, I found myself staring—this time at her back—as she slowly walked away from me. I couldn't stop myself from smiling before I began to follow her.

No, Haibara Ai and Edogawa Conan are not like Mouri Ran and Kudo Shinichi at all.

* * *

"Why am I here again?" I asked as I carried the shopping basket filled with different provisions and food ingredients. I shot an annoyed glance at the girl in front of me who was putting another item in the basket, "And you just did your shopping last week. Why are you buying again?"

"Because," she didn't even give me a glance as she took a can of what looked like soup and speedily read its nutritional facts, "Grocery shopping should be done every week, Kudo-kun. Though I never did expect you to know, being a guy and all."

My eye twitched at the statement, "For your information, I do know how frequently you have to shop for groceries. But there's only Hakase and you living together. You don't need this much food every week."

She set the can she was holding in the basket gracefully before looking at me with her arms crossed, "You're forgetting the Detective Boys eat at Hakase's at least three times a week."

In my mind, I slapped myself.

"Also," she turned around and walked a little ways down the aisle whilst I followed her, "You eat there almost every day as well." Briefly, she turned to me and gave me a small smirk, "Which is why you're here today."

Another mental slap.

"Ugh. Fine." I grumbled.

We continued her grocery shopping with her picking which ones to buy—checking the ingredients and nutritional facts of several items first before putting it in the basket—while I followed her obediently as the shopping slave I should be.

I regretted coming over to eat dinner so often. But then again, Ran was starting to get busy with school so Oji-san and I could only eat her cooking on weekends or if we were lucky, once or twice during a school day. Haibara's surprisingly good cooking skills didn't help my matters either.

A sudden thought came to my mind, "Hey, Haibara," I saw her head turn slightly towards me, indicating she was listening, "if you don't mind me asking, how did you learn to cook?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well," I started, adjusting the shopping basket in my hands as she put more items in it, "You've always told me that you've been with _them_ since you were a kid, and frankly, I can't imagine them teaching you how to cook. So I was wondering who taught you to cook so well."

She looked at me with a light smirk, "I knew you liked my cooking."

I felt myself heat up, "I-idiot! That's not what I meant!"

"Oh really? And that wasn't the reason you eat dinner with us almost every day?" her eyebrow rose with every word she spoke.

"Of course not! I-it's just that—Ran uh… she doesn't cook for Uncle and I much anymore and…" I tried to at least tell half the truth but I knew it was futile with her, "Just answer the question."

She seemed to have been satisfied in teasing me and proceeded with our—her—grocery shopping, "I mostly learned by myself, but I picked it up from when Nee-chan used to cook for me on my birthday." She started while I stopped, "Before I graduated, _they_ allowed me to spend only that one day with her every year, so we always try to make the most of it. Although, we always ended up cooking in the small apartment she lived in. It was either that or be followed by _them_ everywhere we went."

Silently, I watched her as she slowly walked further down the aisle, no doubt pretending to be interested in getting the items she was looking at. I felt myself frown at my useless ability of making her relive memories that only gave her pain. I should've known it was Akemi-san that she had learned from.

My thoughts then came back to Ran, who had taught herself how to cook because of her parent's divorce. Her mother had never been a very good cook—scratch that, her mom was horrible—but at least there was someone who prepared their family a decent meal. She felt that, after her parents separated, it was her job to prepare their meals because Uncle couldn't support her and take care of her at the same time. She had told me she was still hoping that one day her parents would get back together so she'd be able to cook for her whole family.

Ran and Haibara both learned because of some unfortunate circumstances, but continued to do the deed because of different reasons: one of hope, and the other of a memory she could not let go.

I realized how hard it must be for Haibara to cook. She must be reminded of Akemi every time she did, and briefly, I wondered if she were always trying to hide the fact that she was unhappy.

"Don't feel bad for me, Kudo-kun," her voice snapped me out of my reverie and I turned to look at her, seeing her holding another item and feigning to examine it, "It's a long time ago. My birthday celebration was reduced to a short dinner at an expensive restaurant after I got my diploma. I barely remember the details."

I studied her expression as she spoke, and though her face never betrayed any emotion, I could still somehow hear that small hint of sadness in her voice. We both knew she lied about not remembering her birthdays with her sister.

"You know, you don't have to act so strong in front of me," I told her, walking towards where she had stopped, "You're not one of _them_ anymore."

She didn't reply and instead continued to stare at the can she was holding.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up," I finally said, hanging my head down slightly in shame, "I guess I'm just too curious. And if you'd like, I'll tell Hakase to cook more often so you won't have to."

"I told you it's nothing, and honestly, I kinda like cooking." Though I tried to hide it, she must have known I wanted to ask, "I do think of Nee-chan every time I cook. But instead of thinking of it as a happy event that would never occur again, I think of it as a memory that I am very thankful of experiencing." She told me with a light sad smile and I didn't know anything better to do than mimic it.

"Well, I think your sister is a great cook," I said.

Her smile widened and all I could think of is how much I now admire her strength.

"Thank you."

* * *

How is it that this girl could be so cold and heartless to a human being yet be so kind and gentle when it comes to animals?

I shook my head as I watched Haibara from afar—behind a mailbox to be exact—petting a stray kitten. I realized I couldn't help but smile at the scene though.

For a few days, Haibara had been acting a bit weird. She'd been going home mostly by herself, even when I told her I would be going to Hakase as well. I asked Hakase about whether she was doing some project that's why she was going home early. It was then that I found out that she wasn't. Hakase had said that he thought Haibara had been going with us every day which was why she was never home early that week.

It was because of that I decided to follow her one day. I tried to be inconspicuous and so far I had been successful. I witnessed her going inside the grocery store—the very same one where she recently started to drag me into every week—and saw her come out with a small carton of milk.

I wondered at first why she would want milk—she was more of a coffee person, actually—and even more so why she would go to all of that trouble just to buy one.

My questions were answered when she entered a narrow alleyway and stopped in front of a small box.

I chuckled silently when I remembered the time Ran had done the same thing.

We were still kids back then, only about Edogawa Conan and Haibara Ai's ages. Ran had also gone out of her way just to buy the abandoned puppy some food. The only difference was when Ran found the puppy, she immediately dragged me to where it was left while Haibara had instead chosen to keep it a secret.

For some reason, I had a hunch that it was because she didn't want us to see that side of her often.

I shook my head at the thought. I knew she would kill me if she ever found out my current thoughts but…

…what a tsundere she is.

I was brought out of my stupor when I felt my phone vibrate. Taking it out of my pocket, I discovered that I received a message from none other than the person I was tailing.

_'You know, you can stop hiding now.'_

I let out a laugh. I shouldn't be surprised she had known. This was _Haibara Ai_ after all.

Replacing my phone into my pocket, I walked away from my hiding place and strode towards the girl and the kitten. As I approached them, she didn't turn her head, though I knew that she was aware of my advancing presence.

"Finally decided to show yourself, Kudo-kun?" her voice was light when she spoke as she continued to pet the fluffy creature on her lap.

Animals really did wonders to her mood.

I shrugged, though she couldn't see it, "Didn't know I was welcome." I answered simply as I kneeled down beside her and near the little kitten.

I had to admit. It really was adorable.

I reached my hand out to it and it proceeded to lick my fingers. She moved it into a position where I had access to the little creature, letting me pet it as I wished. After easily discovering that it was a girl, I asked her, "Did you give her a name?"

She shook her head, "I don't have the right to."

"She doesn't have any owners?"

"None, as far as I know."

"Why don't you adopt it then?" I finally looked at her face. She held that soft expression I knew was reserved only to animals, the one where she completely takes her cold mask off. For a moment, I felt a little envious of the furry creature I was nuzzling.

"I can't take it back to Hakase's." she replied, the sadness in her voice almost completely masked.

"He won't mind, you know. And it's your home now too, so why won't you call it that?" I continued to watch her, trying to gauge her expression.

"It's not safe for her there, with all my experiments and Hakase's inventions," she answered, ignoring my question, "Plus, we go on trips so frequently and we can't always bring her along. No one would be able to take care of her."

"So you're just gonna leave her alone here without someone to care for her?"

"…"

I had stopped petting the kitten moments ago. I continued to watch Haibara as it continued to nuzzle against her hand. Silence reigned between us until she once again spoke.

"…she won't be alone, Kudo-kun."

I smiled gently at her.

"You won't be either."

That was the day when Haibara and I started going to the grocery store every day.

* * *

It had been a few weeks after Haibara and I started paying Aki—we had decided to name the kitten after all—a visit every after school.

It still somehow amazes me how gentle Haibara could act in the presence of an animal. It was with Aki when she would smile most often and I for one felt privileged to be allowed to be there when she's in that mask-less state.

It was strange of me to think this, but she almost acted like Ran.

During the times when we visited Aki, I silently pondered about those thoughts. The kitten proved to be a very effective happy drug for Haibara and though it costs me additional time to visit Aki with her, I couldn't deny that I enjoyed it as well.

We would have to go again a few hours later but currently, I had a game to finish.

But as the other kids and I played soccer on the playground, I once again found myself comparing the cold and mysterious Haibara Ai to the kind and simple Mouri Ran.

I knew it was getting too frequent for comfort, but I couldn't help but be fascinated of the differences and similarities I find.

After getting a brief glance of Haibara by the bench at the side of the field we were playing on, I abruptly took a shot at the goal, the ball hitting the net before I could even take two steps. I then called for substitute—though it wasn't an official game, the kids wanted to have an even number—and strode towards the strawberry blonde girl without waiting for my replacement.

She was buried in one of her books again, replacing her fashion magazines for a higher form of entertainment, until she set it down on her lap and started clapping softly without looking up at me.

When I was at a reasonable distance away from her, I heard her say, "Fantastic work, Kudo-kun. You just defeated a group of first grade elementary kids in soccer single-handedly."

She had said that with a very neutral expression, and I knew she didn't need to see to know that I had the biggest grin on my face when I ran to her.

I decided to make a small talk before I initiate my experiment, "So how's the book?"

She shrugged, "It's okay." She scooted a little to the left and I sat beside her, on the space she had moved from seconds ago.

As I sat, I gave her an incredulous look, even with her eyes fixated on those pages, and said, "Okay?"

"Just let me read in peace."

I grinned wider when I heard a small trace of embarrassment made its way in her voice. Haibara Ai was currently seated beside me, apparently reluctant to admit that she enjoyed romance novels.

"And would you wipe that grin off your face before I do?" she continued without looking up.

I had to purse my lips to prevent myself from laughing. It was almost creepy how well she knew me.

"So how did I play?" I asked her, hoping I could get her attention away from the seven hundred-page book.

"I said you were fantastic," she replied in a deadpanned voice all the while keeping her eyes on the pages of her book.

I frowned slightly at her, "Were you even watching?"

She must've heard something from my tone because she immediately closed her book—putting a bookmark in the process—and turned to me, "You did three steals, stopped five players, blocked one shot and scored two goals within the thirty minutes you played on the field, so yes, you did a fantastic job beating a couple of elementary kids who are ten years younger than you are."

I just grinned in response, "Thanks!"

She rolled her eyes at my reply, "Really, if you're this obsessed with soccer, why not join the soccer team and be its star player?" I was about to answer when she added, "And don't even tell me it's to avoid more suspicions about your identity. I know you're not in the team when you were still Shinichi either."

I shrugged, "I quit,"

Her eyebrow rose, asking a silent question.

A similar scene once again came to my mind.

_ "If you didn't quit the soccer team, you would've been a hero on the national team by now." Ran had said after I made a goal._

_ "I only play soccer for the physical exercise, which is essential for a detective" I explained, "Just like Holmes—he enjoyed fencing!"_

_ "That's only in a story."_

_ I had frowned slightly at her reply, "But… he's a famous detective that everybody knows! He's amazing. No matter what the situation is, he remains calm… he has the knowledge and principle. His sharp observations and his keen deductions are first-class. His violin skill is also brilliant and matches that of a professional!" I told her with as much enthusiasm as I felt, "Written by Sir Conan Arthur Doyle, a novelist, Sherlock Holmes is the world greatest detective!"_

_ "If you like it so much, why don't you become a mystery writer like your dad?" she asked back, "Wouldn't that be better?"_

_ "I don't want to write about a detective. I want to be a detective!" I explained as if she still didn't know, "To become the Sherlock Holmes of the 90s! The feeling of forcing a criminal to a corner… it's really exciting! You only need to be a detective once… then you'll know how it feels!"_

Ran had always known why. But she never did understand. And now that I had actually given it some thought, maybe she never will.

Finally giving my full attention back to the girl beside me, I answered, "I only played soccer for the physical exercise," I told her just like I did before with Ran, "It's essential for a detective."

"Just like Sherlock Holmes who fenced and boxed," she replied and I knew it wasn't a question.

I nodded and grinned when she understood.

"But wouldn't knowing other martial arts be more practical?" she asked, and though she still looked emotionless, I knew she was curious, "I know soccer has its advantages: increased stamina and a higher speed, for example, but during a confrontation with a criminal, knowing how to fight would be more convenient."

I shrugged, "Guess I never really thought of it like that. Besides, I knew the police would be present whenever I would solve a case so I didn't really consider fighting against a criminal."

She shook her head in disapproval, "You know, some day you will find yourself in a situation where your soccer skills won't suffice to save your life."

I grinned at one of her rare signs of concern, "See, you really do care about me!"

A smack on the head was her reply.

"Ow, ow, ow…" I held the back of my head as I waited for the pain to subside. At that moment, Haibara merely picked her book up once again and began to read.

"Exhibit A," she suddenly said, and I just looked at her in confusion, "You couldn't even protect yourself from a simple hit like that. If it were anything harder, you'd be unconscious."

I just frowned. So it was just a demonstration? "Fine… but you didn't have to hit me so hard."

"I was only proving my point."

I looked at her in slight exasperation, like I always do, before continuing, "Besides, it's not like I have someone that could teach me."

"Why don't you ask your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend," I told her, getting tired of repeating that to her, "And it's not like she'd teach a seven year old to throw other kids."

I saw a hint of smile grace her lips, and I suddenly thought that maybe getting hit was worth it. Closing her book again and then turning to face me, she asked, "Then why don't I teach you then?"

I waited for her to say that she was kidding. Several seconds passed with us just looking at each other. If my mind hadn't been occupied at the time I would've thought of the scene as something out of a movie.

When I finally realized she was serious, my face contorted in disbelief, "You're serious?" I asked in a voice that emphasized the fact that I was surprised.

"Researching and making lethal drugs aren't the only things I learned in the Organization." She replied with a shrug.

"Then how come you never told me?" I questioned, "As a matter of fact, you never even showed any signs of knowing how to fight."

"Well, it's a bit more difficult to use in an eight year old's body."

"I… guess…" I conceded, knowing that having a smaller body wasn't just the issue, but it was the fact that kids like us shouldn't really know how to fight.

"So what's your decision?" she looked at me, although it wasn't very evident, expectantly.

I grinned at her, "When can we start?"

Standing up with her book in hand she spoke as I followed suit, "If you're free tomorrow, we can work at Hakase's place." I nodded, mentally checking my schedule for the next day, "Oh, and Kudo-kun?"

I looked at her as I waited for her to continue.

"You might want to bring protective gears." She then gave one of those oh-so-wonderful—yet frighteningly mischievous—smiles that made my heart skip a beat (though for what reasons, I didn't know), "Just in case."

I stared at her as I stood frozen on my spot whilst she walked away. After finally comprehending completely what she had just told me—which took about ten seconds—I finally asked myself.

"How did this conversation turn into me being beat up by Haibara?"

* * *

"Oof!" a gust of air escaped from my lungs as I hit the floor after being thrown by none other than the brilliant chemist—and surprisingly a black-belt in Aikido and Jiu-jitsu—Miyano Shiho.

Yes, currently, it was Miyano Shiho and Kudo Shinichi in Hakase's basement-slash-Haibara's lab. We had moved most of the tables and other furniture to provide enough space for my, what she liked to call, Defense Lessons.

Miyano had offered to let us drink one of her prototype antidotes which were supposed to last only for six hours at most. The effect was much shorter than the usual ones that she used to give me but the transformation was also notably less painful. She had also mentioned that it wouldn't increase our immunity to the drug since it was evidently weaker.

I had agreed with her that it would be easier for both of us if we were both in our older forms and that the sole purpose of taking the antidote was for training. That meant contacting anyone in those six hours was forbidden.

Which was why I was currently lying on my back, flat on the floor as Miyano towered over my beaten up form.

I groaned as pain once again shot through my body. She let go of my arm, the very one she had used to throw me, wiping the beads of sweat that accumulated on her forehead.

She gave me a smirk, "Give up already, tantei-san?"

"How can you throw me so easily like that?" I complained, trying to sit up as I rolled my shoulder.

"You know Physics, right? Do the Math."

"Not that," I tried very hard not to roll my eyes. It was a habit I knew I got from her. I moved to stand up. "You know very well that I do have some knowledge about self-defense. Plus, you've been teaching me every move you know for the past hour." I stood up facing her, "How is it that you can still throw me like a mannequin?"

"Because," she still had that smirk on her face and if she weren't that beautiful—or had the power to beat me up—I would've pinched her cheeks very hard just so she would be rid of it, "If we were to compare our skills, it would be as if comparing a mannequin's and a yellow belter's."

My eyebrow twitched. I had a short internal conflict on whether I should be glad she didn't compare herself to a higher colored belt—which in turn increases the gap between our supposed skills—or be irritated that my skills was compared to that of a fashion dummy.

In the end, I chose to ignore her comparisons.

I let out a loud sigh as I unceremoniously sat myself on the floor, "I need a break. Five minutes. Please?"

She rolled her eyes at my actions, and I mentally noted that I was right about the eye rolling habit. "I thought you were tougher than that, Kudo-kun."

This time, I was unable to keep myself from rolling my eyes, "Says the person who compared me to a mannequin."

The smirk was back on her face, though less noticeable, "Your metaphor, not mine."

I lied back down on the floor and closed my eyes, deciding I wouldn't really win against her anyway. I groaned in response instead. "This is worse than soccer practice."

"It's more _useful_ than soccer," I heard the soft thumps of her footfalls moving away from me.

For a moment, I didn't reply, knowing very well that Haibara—Miyano—had left the basement. I waited until I heard her footsteps approach me once again before I decided to respond, "I don't think I'm learning anything."

I heard her stop and sit just beside where I was, "You just need practice." I yelped slightly, my eyes snapping open, when something cold touched my forehead. I was greeted by the sight of a cold can of soda she was holding. I sat up and took the can as she continued, "You know, you can't expect yourself to get it the first time. Even if you _are_ strangely talented with the most random things, learning martial arts takes years."

I continued to stare at the can, letting her words sink. It was only then that I remembered what had brought me here in the first place. And the things she had just said, they were different from what others would've said.

_'I know you can do it, Shinichi. If there's anyone that could, it's you!"_

"How do you do that?" I asked Haibara—Miyano—after my short epiphany.

Her eyebrow rose at me, "I just told you to keep practicing."

I shook my head, "No. I meant, how do you do… _this?_" I struggled to explain, "How can you have so much faith in me yet never make me feel I have your expectations to live up to?"

"Because you don't."

Her brief reply only caused me confusion.

She sighed when she saw my face, "Because I don't have any expectations from you. I do trust you—with my life, even—and you know that. But I don't expect that you'd be able to protect me as you promised when something you can't handle hinders you."

I was slightly startled by what she had said, but it quickly turned to anger when I realized what she had implied, "Miyano… don't say that."

She never turned to look at me, "I mean it though. I know you'll save my life over and over again as long as you could. But there might come a time when you can't and honestly, if you think I'll be disappointed in you, I won't. You're just human. Failing once won't make me forget all the times you succeeded."

"I _always _keep my promises, Miyano… _all of _them." I couldn't say much. I was too astounded by all that she had told me. I knew she didn't want to die—unlike those first months when I met her—and she had subtly told me that. But the fact that she knew—had always considered it—that one day, I _will fail_ to save her, and still she believed in me…

…I didn't know what to say.

"I know you do, Kudo-kun," finally, she looked back at me. Her eyes still as icy blue as ever showing nothing but faith as she glanced at me. She smiled a little, reassuringly, "That's why I trust you."

That was all she had to say before I could no longer hold myself back.

In an instant, she was in my arms. I heard her gasp slightly in surprise when I suddenly pulled her towards me. Her own arms remained at her sides because my embrace locked them in place.

"K-Kudo-kun!" I felt her stiffen as she stuttered, probably blushing lightly as well, and I couldn't help but feel satisfied that I was one of the few people alive that could do that. "What are you—?"

"Let me do this. Please." I whispered to her as I buried my face in her hair. She was covered in sweat because of our training but that wasn't enough to remove the smell of her shampoo. I silently breathed the scent in, thinking how much it complemented her natural scent, as I basked in her soothing presence.

It was something I cannot recall I have ever experienced with Ran.

"But—"

"Just let me show you how much I care," I told her, "Hakase isn't the only one who cares for you so much. I need you to know that."

I never really realized how much I relied on her. When I first became Edogawa Conan, I thought I could find the people who shrank me alone. I could track them down, take them out, and Hakase would only be there to create an antidote to the drug they gave me. Ran would be there to wait for me, and for a long while, it was the only thing that had kept me going with my search of the Organization. I did not need anyone's help. Ran was waiting for me and I'd be damned if I let her down.

But ever since Miyano had so rudely stepped into my life—I swear, sometimes, I still feel fear when I recall the event—I had unconsciously began to rely on her as more time passed. From just another person looking for my help, she had turned into one that I have a symbiotic relationship with. Her mere presence in my life had served as a lifeline, constantly reminding that I was not alone, that I would still get my body back, and that my life as Shinichi was not just a dream.

In a way, she had kept me sane.

And for that, I need to do the same, to provide her something she lost, something of hers that I had failed to save.

"_Please_… just, please let me make you feel that I do too." My arms tightened with every word I said.

I felt her shoulders relax. She did not say another word. And in the middle of my worry whether she'll accept me or not, she wrapped her arms around me as well.

* * *

**Author's Notes:  
**

**Yes, I am a ConanXAi shipper. And as much as i wanted this to be romance, it seemed more like friendship to me so... too bad :(  
**

**Sorry for the Ran fans. Some may have been offended by certain scenes but it was necessary XD  
**

**Hope you liked it :)  
**


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